The Artist (Year in Review and Looking Forward)

Plus Transgender Deathmatch Legend II progress and a new release!

Hey, long time no see

That's a bit of an exaggeration but for the first time in over a year and a half I missed a newsletter back in November and then this month's is late. I'll say what's gone on since then and then go into where I'm at and what's coming next year.

Transgender Deathmatch Legend II, Nemesis Retribution, General Conniving

Transgender Deathmatch Legend II funded On BackerKit. The game will be out early next year (likely in January with physical fulfilment starting February). It's currently being edited and there's a BackerKit update with more details.

I released a new game! Nemesis Retribution is a game of dark counterparts and twisted mirror images. As a group take a hero, create their perfect rival and then set them on a collision course! For 2-6 players, including a GM, for one-shots with rules for going longer.

I did three cons in three weekends, a course of action that solicited responses such as "you're a beast", "how", "why", and "are you unwell?". Which, yes, chronically so, that made the whole thing more difficult. Anyway I did enjoy doing three conventions (Dragonmeet, TAGS Fest, and Rift Faire), I did well enough out of all of them, and it was nice to see people enjoying my games. Maybe you're a new subscriber to the newsletter sayer picking something up at one of the cons? In which case, hello and welcome.

I put together a bid for Arts Council England's DYCP grant. Its for artists looking to develop their practice rather than a specific project, but it does involve talking about things you want to explore. I won't actually find out if the bid is successful until like March, but it's given me stuff to think about that's going to inform my next year regardless of the result.

Where'd the newsletter go?

So I've been busy, that parts obvious. But I also wasn't always feeling great, in spite of having so much going on. I was unsatisfied with how the Transgender Deathmatch Legend II campaign went. It felt like a slog, it didn't make goals I'd hoped it would, and I think worst of all I felt like I saw that coming and just pressed ahead out of stubborness. I think what I'm terming stubborness now is often a good habit of mine; a willingness to see things through, a commitment to finishing. It just worked against me here. TDL2 was the worst performing major crowdfunding campaign I've ran. Still, it did fund.

There's some things that were out of my control; namely the project unfairly getting slapped with an 18+ label just for "any depiction of blood or violence" in spite of countless over TTRPGs with similar levels of violence being fine. Was that the deciding factor in how well it did? Who knows. A lot of people believe that sounds plausible. BackerKit insists their own data shows NSFW labels don't impact success.

There where also things I misjudged (I shouldn't have committed to running the campaign in BackerKit given I wasn't eligible for their marketing, but not realising that ineligibility was my failing) and things I believe I could have done differently. Or at least could have done differently had I not felt the need to launch in October.

Anyway, so yeah, I lost my smile. I didn't post a newsletter in November because I think it would have just been complaining about the campaign (which feels gauche while it's still running). I was considering retiring the monthly newsletter, partly out of worry that I was getting too personal in the pages of it. It's not getting retired. Though I let this month's drift. The reason why I'm not closing it comes in the next section.

What's next year looking like?

I did a lot this year. I released five full games. I guest wrote an arena for Death Game. I did the majority of work I will do on Transgender Deathmatch Legend II this year. I did a full year of Game Soup. I did eleven episode of This is Your Lifepath. I went to six conventions. I ran a Kickstarter for PSYCHODUNGEON and the BackerKit for TDL2. I did the physical fulfilment for Terminal (after parting with a fulfilment partner) and PSYCHODUNGEON by myself.

That's a lot. Like teams of people doing that would be impressive. There's no team here. There is only me.

I'm a multiply disabled woman. Part of the reason I'm a full time TTRPG creator is because I can't be in employment. I'm doing too much.

I don't have a next Kickstarter planned. I will run one I'm sure. But I want to take some more time. Let myself breath. I think that will be good for the work, though first and foremost it'll be good for me. I think if I get the DYCP grant that'll really work out, part of my bid involved me talking about wanting to feel less pressure to get a next crowdfunding thing together. Even if I don't get the funding though I want to explore other ways of trying to make my practices less centred around what campaign is coming next.

I'm tentatively planning to re-open my Patreon some time next year. I'm unsure exactly of what shape it'll take. If you subscribe to any TTRPG patreons feel free to let let me know what attracted you to them specifically.

There's also more personal things that might help change stuff, that I won't go into in this newsletter. I worry this edition is already a bit too personal (I'm not sharing anything I'm uncomfortable with to be clear, I'm just aware it's not what people sign up to the mailing list for).

My concrete plans for next year involve finishing and release Transgender Deathmatch Legend II and exhibiting at UK Games Expo (independently for the first time) with Laurie O'Connel. I'll be refreshing what zines I have in print before then (I'm down to low stock on a lot of items and I managed some items will be completely out of stock after TDL2 fulfilment as they are offered as add-ons). Nemesis Retribution will get a print run. I might also bring some old favourites back into circulation.

Writing wise I'm working on film noir in space game. I mentioned a bit about in a text interview with Alex White recently, and have also posted about writing and research on social media. The start of the project was the setting from an adventure I did two years ago (The Man We Knew). My intention is to put out a playtest version at some point in the first half of 2025.

I'm interested in revisiting an old project. I want to release some more small experimental games (I have an idea for a game involving a shuffled playlist resolution that I'm gonna take to Game Soup soon).

I'm accepting that Rat Wave Game House isn't a business. It's just me. I'm not a business, I'm an artist. And sure, I have to find some way of living with that, but I will.

Until next year

Kayla Dice